Batty Bag

It seems that however many bags a person has, she'll always have a couple of go-tos. In my case, there's this painted denim bracelet-bag that I got at a resale store which tends to be my first choice for nights out. Not because it's fancy, but because it's small (but just the right size for needs and extries), indestructible, and the bracelet closures mean I can cram it on my wrist and not worry about it for the rest of the evening, no matter how blurry it gets.

The problem with that bag is that the motif -- "LOVE HURTS" -- is, how can I say it, very ... shit, what's that dooshy t-shirt brand? You know the one I mean. Yeah, it's very THAT. Plus the metal bracelet rings can get a little uncomfortable.

So, I sketched out a similar design, and took a couple of swings at it myself. After 3 or 4 prototypes, I decided to go whole-hog and try it in vinyl. (Those of you who work with vinyl will understand that it's a very different [faux] animal.) I'd already embroidered on vinyl with my dear Rudy and knew it was a great base for open designs. I had this adorable scrollwork bats design from Urban Threads (of course), and after editing the eye-colors, I stitched it out on some pebble-texture upholstery vinyl I had lying around.

And it turned out so! good!

I assembled it with some night bats quilting fabric I had in the stash, and added a magneto purse snap for a little extra security.

It needs a little tweaking to deal with the multiple folded vinyl layers, but this version of it is very usable. The way it works is that it can be carried as a regular wristlet, or -- and this is my favorite -- the wrist strap can be fed through a D-ring at the opposite side to round the bag off and make it bullet-proof.

It's a killer little bag that I don't have to worry about losing, falling open, or setting it into something wet. If only I could say the same thing for the rest of my wardrobe.

2 New Leggings...Pairs

Man, I love this spandex. LOVE. IT. I'm going to make another 100 pairs of leggings from this stuff, because it's perfect summer wear. You know how some fabrics just always feel cool? Not because they are flowy, or ventilated, or wicking, or any other weird thing... it's just magic. Like the way powdered sugar feels cool in your mouth. Slinky spandex has that same kind of effect. And the new printed patterns? Spectacular. I whipped these up this weekend.

PS Just because catalogs show women wearing leggings with nothing more than a t-shirt, doesn't mean that's how they're supposed to be worn. They're just trying to show the goods, just like they do with pantyhose. You'd wear a skirt (or something) with pantyhose, right? So, wear something over your leggings, too, for crissake.

Embellished Skirt

Been putting stuff together for my latest convention, the American Atheists 50th anniversary con in Austin, TX, this weekend.

I always feel better-represented in new environs when wearing something I made. I made a new shirt for this trip, with some beautifully soft knits, but it's not all that exciting to anyone but me. The main piece is actually an embellished skirt.

As I've mentioned before, I'm just crazy for my embroidery machine (my dear Rudy). One of the major challenges in working with it, though, is lettering. It's very difficult to get exactly the right tension balance for any small/detailed stitch work, but lettering is particularly devillish because any flaw is so screechingly obvious.

But I loves me some words, so I decided what I wanted was a great quote, on an awesome background, added as a detail to a skirt I already own and wear (so it'll be more than a one-time-garment).

I started with the fabric. The last time I was at Joann, I'm pretty sure I'd looked for this "universe" fabric and didn't find it. So I wasn't even thinking about it when it jumped out at me from the quilting department. I just love the colors and the...impossibility of the design. Grabbed a yard. Next came the skirt. The last time I purged my closet, I gave a friend 27 skirts that I no longer wore. I'm not exaggerating, that's the real number (she never wears pants, so this was a windfall for her). Even so, I have a whole rail of skirts left -- what can I say, they're the easiest thing to make, and now that I have a system down for making slinky leggings, I wear skirts pretty regularly myself.

Point is, I had a lot of options.

I chose this burgundy denim, as it coordinated nicely with the jeweltones in the quilting fabric.

Next, the quote. Speaking of options...
There are a lot of writers and thinkers whose words I would happily wear. Because ol' Rude has a 100mm x 100mm size limit, I needed to find a favorite that was pretty short, but still related to the overall design AND the conference. This Sam Harris quote from "Free Will" is one I especially like (whether or not it jibes with the overall point of the book...discussion for another time), and struck me as being quite apropos.

I found a nice little embellishment, edited it, made it 2-color, fit the quote in (I don't want to hear anything about the kerning JIM), and stitched away.

The finished apx 4" trim was intended to fit along the lines of one of the pockets in the front. The pocket is still completely accessible, and buttonable. With that stitched down, I decided to take a couple of particularly cool illustrations from elsewhere on the leftover fabric and place those into the back pockets.

Again, the pockets are functional and buttonable. All I did was rip the inner stitching from the trim around the pocket (that Gingher seam ripper...manoman), carefully trim a piece of the quilting fabric to fit under the edge (with a hem at the top pocket opening) and restitch the trim. They look perfect. [pat pat]

So if any of you heathens in Texas this weekend see this walkin' by, be sure to say hello.

Oh! I forgot to mention my favorite comment when showing a friend what I was working on. He said, "My, you have a lot of space in those back pockets." Wakka wakka!

Moment of fear...

Have you ever had it happen where you are alone, but in public, maybe having a quick lunch at a local cafe, when something startling happens, something to make the entire cafe jump -- like perhaps a large boom sounds outside, or the power suddenly goes off -- and immediately when it's righted, everyone looks around in embarrassed relief, and maybe you lock eyes with a stranger and shrug and giggle in a "whew! aren't we silly!" sort of way?

I think what that moment is really saying is "I thought for a moment that we may have only had 90 seconds left to live, and I'm letting you know that you are the one I'd have spent that time humping."

chicken man

Chicken Man (with apologies to EAPoe)

It was warm in fall and far from home,
      in a port city down by the sea,
where was met a man fully stark of dome
      whom people would gather to see;—
And this man knew not how fate would lead
      to him giving a chicken to me.

I was a guest and he was well-known
      at this conference down by the sea,
but I watched him speak and my notes read "rrrow"
     as he stood on the dais before me.
By evening I knew would come the event
      that would introduce he and me.

The evenings were ours to explore the streets
      of the old city there by the sea,
to talk of hoodoo and grisgris and far-flung adventures
      and the nature of reality.
So that in the depths of the lengthening night
      I asked him to come with me,
to further explore the growing affection
      even a three-legged pig could see.

We laughed in the dark and continued to talk
      although long days had made us giddy—
yes!—that must be the reason that he exclaimed
     "I have slain a monster!" with glee.
"Tell me, tell me!" I begged, as he pressed me downward.
      "Read my fucking book" growled he.

So the conference ended, and our paths diverged hence
     me to my hollowed-out city—
     he to his red-dusted kitty—
And neither the angels of providence
      nor demons of productivity
Could ever dam our excited exchange
      via every technology.
 
Then on my favorite day, the PO wrote to say
     that they held a package for me.
In the midst of the crowd, I laughed out loud;
      the man had sent a chicken to me.
Of posters and postcards, of ties and surprises,
of the strangest exchanges and best interchanges,
     I will always hold dearest my plump Little Betty—
     and the man who gave a chicken to me.

 — July 2012

Were I made a different way

Were I made a different way
My homes could have been more peaceful.
    no falling walls
    no trembling beds
    no murmuring just outside

Were I made a different way
My nights could have been less eventful.
    no peering giants
    no banded snakes
    no shadow men at my bedside

Were I made a different way
The hauntings could seem endless.
    the temperature jump
    the vibe in the air
    the force holding me in place

Were I made a different way
The terror could be relentless.
    the weight as it sits
    the hand on my shoulder
    the leaning in close to my face

Were I made a different way
To believe would be so easy.
    in profligate myths
    in fanciful notions
    in the weakest, most superstitious fears

As I am made the way that I am
I know that it’s all chemistry.

— 8 January 2013

NYE 2012/2013 Snake Headdress

I woke up feeling poorly on New Year's Eve morning. Everyone has been sick lately, but I knew I wasn't dealing with the flu that's been going around. What I didn't know was how long the blech was going to last, or whether I should commit to plans for the night. Turns out, I felt much better by early afternoon.

This meant I had to get serious about whether I was going to a party I'd been invited to...and if that meant I was going to make something special to wear. Isn't that 80% of the point of a New Year's Eve party? Besides, I figured making something would help motivate me to actually GO.

Based on something I'd seen online somewhere (don't ask me, I spend so much time looking at random pictures I could never retrace my steps), I decided a snaky headdress would be neat and...unrelated enough. So I dragged ass to the dollar store and got supplies.

A side note to that trip. As I was standing in line at the Dollar General, checking my email on my iPhone 5, I noticed the woman standing next to me, also checking her email on her iPhone 5. In line at the dollar store on my iPhone, next to a woman on her iPhone. Of the several ways of reacting to that situation, I decided to silently congratulate us both on our priorities.

So, basically, snakes, wire, plastic headband, chrome spray paint (which never ever EVER dries on soft plastic, so don't paint rubbery snakes and then set them on anything like, say, your flesh, while wearing a necklace made to match, as you will have a big silver paint print on your chest by the time you get to the party, even if that does wind up a pretty funny story).

I have to figure out what to do about that, actually, the never-drying situation.* I'm wondering if maybe I lightly dust them with talc, or even dry-brush some black or dark grey acrylic on them...and then I stop thinking about it because, seriously, how often am I going to wear this? I'll just store it pointing upward so the snakes don't fuse to anything.

When I arrived at the party, the general response was, "Cool, you made that, right? ... Nice blouse, you made that, too, right?" My reputation precedes me, dontcha know.

*The answer is primer. There probably isn't anything I can do about plastic I've already painted: the headdress is always going to be tacky. I did a test last night with a similar toy and a spray primer, which I then finished with the same Krylon chrome spray, and it turned out great. The reason I'm so devoted to finding a solution is because Krylon chrome spray paint is awesomely chromey. It just seems to never cure on plastic. Now I can chrome all the toys I want -- and that IS going to happen.

**I spoke too soon. While the initial drying phase worked out well, after the plastic/primer/Krylon piece had set for a few days, it also become unusably tacky. Quest continues.

By the way, here's something I've recently concluded. Posting whole how-tos on this site is pointless. They're time-consuming, and I don't think anyone actually looks for/reads them. I keep my own notes for techniques that I need to reference, so anyone with questions will just have to ask.

Weeping Virgin Mary Statue

Weeping Virgin Mary, a photo by shefightslikeagirl on Flickr.

There's a whole post coming about this costume...!

Always a busy time of year; doubly-so for crafty types.